Live and learn from fools and from sages

Over the past 20 years now I have been on the so called "spiritual path" and while there is no doubt much good has come of it, up until recently I used it to perpetuate a certain kind of violence on my self. I could use meditation or any number of practices to beat the shit out of myself if I forgot to do it or I wasn't advanced enough. Attending Spiritual groups is great but I remember lots of guilt being projected onto me for not going to enough meetings or anything I wasn't doing right. Somehow we can take a positive thing and use it as a weapon to feel like shit and to project guilt and shame onto others. Someone a few days ago was speaking to me about feeling bad about their prayer life because they didn't feel Gods presence. So the very thing we needed to help us, becomes another bat we use to beat it into our heads they we aren't good enough. The most "advanced" people I know aren't doing everything perfect, they don't claim to be enlightened, What they are very good at is Forgiving themselves when they screw up and forgiving others when they screw up which is the choice for love over fear. I feel as a byproduct of this we become more peaceful and have a better life. When we are striving to become better and better and never satisfied with ourselves we are never satisfied with others and we live in a prison of self-improvement. Start from the fact that you are already a whole, complete, and a perfect child of god who will fall down But you are wholly loved and forgiven and your only function is to love and to forgive.So if your making any New Years resolutions and you fall short, love and forgive yourself anyway, be kind and get back on track. Know for a fact that mistakes will be made and your spiritual practice is to forgive and when you forget to forgive forgive yourself for that too.


Happy Holidays!!

freedom

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Hamlet

Freedom From the bondage of self is possible through radical forgiveness. We must understand that problems of guilt, shame, remorse, resentment, and fear are of our own making and that we are totally and completely loved and forgiven in order to be free. We put the unconscious guilt in ourselves when we, just like the prodigal son left our fathers Kingdom to go out on our own. What we do with this Guilt is project it onto others and say “they’re the guilty ones, not me!! It’s them!!”  The Blame game starts and we build a prison for ourselves that we don’t know how to break free from. I notice this even in the smallest of ways, I could drop something and I immediately look around for someone else to blame. The course in Miracles says “there is no hierarchy of illusions” so it doesn’t matter if we are talking about a minor situation or a major disaster the problem and solution are the same. Being on a spiritual path many of us have used it as a way of beating the shit out of ourselves because we think it’s about being perfect when what needs to be realized is it’s about perfect being which our natural state already is.  Only our judgmental thoughts about how things are supposed to be come in and create misery.  The truth is we will continue to screw up and everyone else will continue to screw up but what can improve is our ability to forgive ourselves and others. When we have unreasonable expectations for ourselves usually we have them for others too.  Realize you are perfect being and you are love itself, and it’s the human condition to make mistakes. If you want to remove Guilt and resentment from your life start by practicing forgiveness for yourself.   

living the teaching

see them as forgiven or you will never see this for yourself 

see them as love because that is what you are

see them as infinite potential or you will never see yours

help them to know the love of being and you will travel lighter

for you are the source of it all.

Expression of love I am

The ego is a beggar and it’s begging for love constantly. The realization is to see I am the source of love, and that you can never get love outside yourself because you are love. WE must see that we have been selfish to the core in pursuit of love and how much pain we have brought on ourselves and others as a result of our deluded  thinking that we are separate and need to get love from someone or something else. IF we are to finally be able to see the truth of who we are, we need to let go of our addiction to specialness and special love (love that I can get for ME) and we need to face the painful realization that it doesn’t work. We must recognize we are always looking for Respect, positive feedback, admiration, praise, and love outside of ourselves because in our unconscious mind we believe that we are defective, evil, less then, a sinner, a loser, and a big piece of shit. If I'm looking for love outside myself I cannot see the truth that I am Love or I wouldn’t be trying so hard to get it.

The stronger the search for love outside of myself, the stronger the belief that I'm evil. If I'm longing for love that’s because I desperately want someone to reflect back to me how innocent I am because unconsciously I believe I'm an evil piece of shit. The amount that I believe I'm defective, deprived, mean, vicious, ugly and evil is proportionate to my desire for respect, and love outside of me. When we unconsciously believe we are evil we push this belief outside of ourselves and Blame others and shift the focus to the evil doers and project how we feel about ourselves onto others in an attempt to unload our unconscious guilt onto them so we can feel like the innocent one and then we look for someone to love us because I don’t have love so I need to find it in you in hopes you will reflect it back to me. We need constant reinforcement from other people because we don’t believe we are love and we don’t believe we are lovable. When you realize I'm not this separate Ego, I am not evil, I am love itself, you no longer have a desire to get it from anyone or anywhere else because it’s not there, this is an inside job!

“You are what you are, timelessly, but of what use is it to you unless you know it and act on it? Your begging bowl may be of pure gold, but as long as you do not know it, you are a pauper. You must know your inner worth and trust it and express it in the daily sacrifice of desire and fear." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj 

                  

           

Self Knowledge: The Light of the Tiger part 9

To try to shift and change your world of experience is like trying to put lip stick on the mirror because you’ve projected the image onto the mirror and you want to fix it so you put lip stick on it. You need to go to the source of the experience which is your own knowledge and belief.  The realization is I know I am the light of Consciousness. My own consciousness right here right now, it’s already right here right now, not one that will come to me “someday”,  I’m already this consciousness that’s here now.  This consciousness, my consciousness that’s here now that’s what’s being talked about in all the books, my consciousness this applies to me. Now I know oh this Consciousness that I am. So we realize that we’ve been waiting all along, this mind is waiting someday I’ll get it, meanwhile the light is shining on the mind which is the world of experience. The world of experience (mind) is waiting for the someday that I’ll get it, because it believes that  it knows that’s it’s not there yet, so it experiences itself as not there yet meanwhile the light of consciousness is shining on the world of experience (mind) waiting for the mind to someday get it. The light is shining the whole time.  This is why nothing ever happened, I was shining all the time and I didn’t know it. When I realized this, I realized I have always been shinning and nothing ever happened it was all a projection of mind it was all a Dream.   Did anything ever happen in a dream? The light has always been shinning. I am the light of consciousness.  The world of experience is a projection of mind and is illusory. The seeking never happened, the suffering never happened, and the attaining never happened apart from the dream. The light has always been here and it’s all that’s ever been happening .This light of consciousness is what I am.  I know I am what’s shinning, my consciousness. It’s not about some other consciousness that’s going to come to me someday, I am this consciousness now. What your reading about is the consciousness that is your own consciousness know that this applies to you personally so you take what you’ve been reading and say This applies to me personally this is my consciousness that's already here now, it’s all that’s ever been happening. This light of consciousness that’s always been shinning out through your eyes, listening through your ears,  sensing through your body,   that’s the fundamental truth.  All that’s ever really happened is this light of consciousness that shinning on a projected dream world which is my own mind, this is why there’s no separation. There’s no separation in the light of consciousness there’s only one light of consciousness. There’s no separation in the relative world of experience because the relative world of experience has no independent existence from mind. As your looking into your world of experience looking at people places and things, you’re seeing your own mind, this is why there is no separation you can only know and experience your own mind you cannot experience anything apart from your own mind there is no separation and the relative world of experiences source is one because it’s all your own mind and its all the light shining through your own mind in and as you own mind, in three dimensional space and time all this is your own mind. There is no separation in the relative world of experience,  in the Absolute light of consciousness, or awareness. The consciousness and awareness is one and also the relative world of experience is one because it’s all mind. If you don’t get this you’re wasting your time, this is radical! If you do get this then you get everything,  this is all or none. This is what needs to be understood and to understand this you’ll understand everything that you ever read and everything will make perfect sense. You could take any tradition read it and understand it. Freedom is when the tiger can attack you and pounce on you but you know it’s not real, you know it’s all a projected world of mind             

Question what you believe you know - more pointers from Sri Sri Chimpanzee

All experience is mind. All experience is consciousness, every thought, every emotion, every sensation, every sight, every sound, it’s my own mind; it’s all my own consciousness which is a projection of knowledge and belief. The fundamental truth of what I am is the light of consciousness that’s shining on and  through the world of experience, shining through the mind. Now that I know that my mind and my world of experience is all based in knowledge and belief and projects what appears to be separate and therefore can be  referred to as illusory I know that I can let the world of experience be as it is. What do you need to do with the tiger in the dream when he’s attacking you? You know it’s a dream, you know it’s a projection of your own mind, so with every moment of experience you can know this is a projection of my own mind it’s a creation of my own mind. You have the power to either let it be or question what you believe you know. Because in order to experience the world you need to believe you know, so as you question what you believe you know your world of experience changes. That’s how to change your world of experience by going to the root which is questioning what you believe you know, not to try to change the world cause to try to change your world of experience is believe an assumption that the world is separate from yourself. You are looking into your own mind so if you don’t like what you see its time to go back and question what you believe you know.  

           

Prior to the mind "more pointers from Sri Sri Chimpanzee"

Consciousness is my world of experience my own mind, and my own mind is not the fundamental truth of what I am, Light is the fundamental truth, I am the light of consciousness. Consciousness is your own mind and is your world of experience. The world of experience is dependent on what the mind believes that it knows. What it believes it knows is dependent on its programing, conditioning, education, and what it has come to believe it knows, then it gets projected out into the world of experience.This is the fundamental realization; the whole world of experience, every moment without exception is not the fundamental truth of what I am that it’s a projection of mind and can be called illusory because it appears to have its own separate existence. The world of experience appears to have its own separate existence, that’s why it’s referred to as an illusion, because it has no individual existence your own mind must believe that it knows that your reading these words. Your own mind must believe it knows in order to experience. Your whole world of experience is a projected world of experience and there is no other experience. So all experience can be called illusory. There is no way for this light of consciousness (the fundamental truth of who you are) to experience anything at all. It needs the mind in order to know or experience anything.  You are prior to the mind as the light of consciousness because the light of consciousness is shining through your mind and creating your world of experience, all of it. Every thought every emotion every sensation is a projection of mind, therefore your mind is three dimensional space and time. Your looking into your mind everywhere you look, you’re looking into your mind, not your brain your brain is in your skull. Mind is everywhere. My mind can look into my brain and my mind can look out into the world, its every molecule. All space and time is Mind, all space is consciousness.

The Light of Consciousness - more pointers from Sri Sri Chimpanzee

This is the root, the core, the foundation of the fundamental understanding that Self-Knowledge is radical on one hand and it’s the ultimate simplicity on the other, realizing that the whole world of experience everything, every moment of experience without exception is a projection of mind and is not the fundamental truth. The fundamental truth of what I am can be called pure consciousness, the essence of life itself. There is this Light of consciousness that is here now and it has no way to know or experience the World, It’s the pure light of the mind. In order to see your mind there has to be a light shining through your eyes and a light listening through your ears and a light sensing through your body. That Light is the fundamental Truth; it’s the light of pure consciousness, the awareness.  I am the light. This is Self-knowledge; I am the light of consciousness.

My own mind -"pointers from Sri Sri Chimpanzee"

There is no separation between the absolute awareness, the light that’s looking out, or pure consciousness. And there’s no separation between my own mind and my world of experience. So how can I blame you for anything when it’s my own mind that doing it? I can only experience what I believe I know that you’re doing. My own mind says what you’re doing is good or evil right or wrong. My own mind determines whatever is being experienced, so now I take responsibility for my experience I don’t blame anyone else, because there is no separation between my own mind and my world of experience. If I have a problem then I need to question my own mind, my own mind believes in problems.  This is fundamental if you get this you get everything if you don’t get this then you get nothing. Without this your playing around on the fringes trying to get a better experience and avoid a worse one.     

Part IV

There is no separation between your mind and your whole world of experience. Looking out through those eyes your mind is out here. Your brain is in there. But your mind, your consciousness, your world of experience is out here. As consciousness looks out through those eyes and listens through those ears its listening to itself, you’re looking at your mind your hearing your mind your sensing your own mind through your body, your smelling and tasting your own mind. Your own mind is 3 dimensional space and time.  Your brain is inside that head but your mind is 3 dimensional space and time. Your mind is inside and outside its everywhere consciousness is everywhere. Awareness that’s looking through the eyes or pure consciousness is like a light shining through those eyes and its seeing what you believe you know everywhere you look and everything you here, everything you think, you will experience as real and true as you believe you know. You’re looking out into your mind. You’re looking at your mind right now. I’m looking at my mind. I’m experiencing you as I believe I know you. I have no other way to experience you. Are you objectively good or evil, Right or wrong? Do you have any independent existence apart from my own mind?  I have no way to experience you apart from what I believe I know about you, so I’m not experiencing you; my mind is experiencing my own knowledge and beliefs about you. Therefore you are my own mind you are not separate from my own mind. My mind is you.

Self Knowledge; The Light of the tiger Part III

Even this present moment of experience is a projection of the past there’s no way for you to experience anything here and now, your only experiencing the past. You will never experience here now, you will only experience there then. This is the nature of mind so even to try to stay in the present moment is an impossibility because you’re projecting the past. There is no time, we are timeless. The realization is the reality which is timeless spaceless, formless. What can be experienced that is timeless spaceless and formless?  That’s the fundamental truth that you are no thing that can be experienced and yet you are this aware presence that’s here now. It’s not in the world of relative knowledge, its absolute Knowledge. Right here right now there is beingness, consciousness, or awareness that I am.  I have no way to experience myself because I’m one.  If I’m to experience myself then there is something aware of an experience of myself, so I can’t be the experience.   I’m the witnessing, the watching, the consciousness, or awareness but I can’t experience this witnessing presence.  I only know it exists because of the experience of an object, but I am not the object. I’m not an object of experience, all objects of experience are projections of mind that are in time, space, and form which are not the fundamental truth.  I have no way to experience myself , I have no way to directly know myself. This is what this freedom is, its freedom from the world of experience. Your whole world of experience is a projection of what you believe you know and there is no separation from the world of experience and mind. So you would no longer blame anyone for your problems because you have projected the whole world of experience. As a child we didn’t know this and we believed that the world of experience was separate from us. We blamed others for our thoughts feelings and our experiences, but when we grow up and realize that all experience is a projection of what my mind believes it knows ,we can question what we believe we know. I am the creator; my own mind is the creator of all my experiences.Whatever I’m experiencing is a projection of what this mind believes it knows. Now that this mind realizes this, it has the power to question its experience. When the mind questions what it believes it knows it has the power for its beliefs to change.

Self Knowledge: The Light of the Tiger part two (a talk givin by Sri Sri Chimpanzee)

 Self-realization is not an experience. You are prior to experience right here right now and you have no way to know yourself, I have no way to know I’ve discovered myself. The way it’s known is through negation because everything that’s known or experienced is not true, not true, not true, and not true. What’s left after everything has been negated? There’s awareness here now. You can ask, is this awareness that’s here now good or evil? Is it right or wrong? Is it happy or sad? Is it me or you? Is it us or them? Is it up or down? None of the above because it’s not in duality, it’s not an experience, it can’t be known.  It can be put in negative terms, like formless, timeless, spaceless. It can be put in terms like beyond the mind, beyond time, beyond space or prior to mind. It negates all relative experience and that’s Self-realization. It is radical and it’s the ultimate simplicity because it’s prior to the mind.

Confusion, difficulty and challenges come once were in the mind. Easy or difficult is in the mind. The ultimate simplicity is prior to the mind. Is there consciousness here now? Yes I am.

I could listen to that over a hundred times and didn’t realize that this awareness that’s here now is what’s being pointed out. I would put it in terms of yes the truth of what I am is this awareness and I’ll get it someday; someday it will sink in. When you realize it’s looking out through those eyes and listening through those ears, it applies to you personally.  This Awareness here now is the fundamental truth.

Self Knowledge: The Light of the Tiger Part 1 (a talk givin by Sri Sri Chimpanzee)

This is what needs to be realized, if you don’t get this you’re wasting your time. This is radical. If you do get this then you get everything, this is all or none.  Freedom is when the tiger can attack you and pounce on you but you know it’s not real. You know it’s all a projected world of mind And this is fundamental. If you get this you get everything if you don’t get this you get nothing. Self-knowledge is radical on one hand and it’s the ultimate simplicity on the other. A common theme that you’ll hear is the importance of understanding  the nature of your experience and the reason he’s saying make no effort over and over again is because whatever  effort your making  is in your world of experience which is your projected world of knowledge and belief.  It’s your imaginary world. Whatever effort you’re making is in your imaginary projected world of experience.  So a common theme in the various traditions is understanding the nature of experience, understanding the nature of mind, and that what we’re seeking is prior to the mind or beyond the mind or not in the world of experience.  That’s really the one point that if you get you get everything else. It doesn’t matter if you make an effort or make no effort because you know it’s in the world of experience and what’s being pointed out is what’s aware of the world of experience right here right now. It can’t be experienced its right here right now so your search is done.   You’re free of it, that’s it and once you discern between the world of experience which is everything that you experience and that which is aware right here right now, this aware presence that’s always with you as you, then you can no longer be fooled by the mind no matter what its saying. Freedom is not in the mind its prior to the mind it’s that which is aware of the projected world of mind.  It’s not freedom to have a nice mind or to have a nice story or to have a nice tiger that leaves you alone. Freedom is when the tiger can attack you and pounce on you but you know it’s not real, you know it’s all a projected world of mind.  That’s it there’s nothing more to do or stop doing, there’s no more effort to make and no need to stop any effort. All experience including effort or no effort is in the world of mind. What is aware of that world of mind? On one hand it’s the ultimate simplicity on the other it’s the ultimate radical realization because it’s all-inclusive there are no exceptions its solid black or its solid white, there are no exceptions. There is no part of the world of mind that is absolutely real or absolutely true it has relative truth and it’s all a projection of mind. What we are seeking cannot be experienced; this is why waiting for an experience is a waste of time. What we are is not an experience its prior to experience.  It’s the ultimate simplicity because all you have to do is realize all you are experiencing is not the fundamental truth, it’s not the realization of the spiritual teachings. Whatever you are experiencing you can negate it as this is not what I am seeking, this is not the truth of what I am, this is a projection of mind. I am prior to this mind, I am aware of this mind here and now. I’m the witnessing presence, the consciousness, the awareness right here right now. I’m watching this dream world that’s projected. He says don’t make any effort because any effort is in the world of the mind. If you’re trying to turn a mean ugly nasty tiger into a nice sweet tiger you’re still dreaming, Wake up from the dream.  So I tell them there dreaming a tiger is pouncing on them Wake up your dreaming there’s no tiger pouncing on you. Wake up from the dream. This is a radical realization because it applies to every moment of experience is not the truth of who you are. It’s a dream world. You will find this in all of the spiritual traditions repeated over and over again that your world of experience is a projection of mind, it’s not the truth and it has no reality, and this is what you need to understand. It doesn’t matter what spiritual philosophy is being used because they are saying the same thing. This is what needs to be realized; negate every moment of your experience because it’s a projection of your own mind. Even if you have an idea of awakening or enlightenment it’s a projection of your own mind, it’s not the truth. If you’re waiting for an experience of awakening or enlightenment it will be another illusion and you’ll still be asleep in your dream. You’ll go from dreaming that you’re suffering and seeking to a dream that you’re awake now. You have always been watching the dream so you didn’t wake up, you watched one dream change into another dream but you never changed.  This is why nothing ever happened, nothing ever happened because nothing is happening absolutely, it’s all a projection of mind. You have to understand this if you don’t understand this you’ve not understood anything and you’ve wasted your time. This is the foundation of the spiritual teachings; to be able to discern between the world of experience as a relative truth or an illusion and the fundamental truth the absolute truth the absolute reality that I am aware here and now. If you get this you understand everything and if you don’t get this you understand nothing, it’s as simple as that. If you don’t get this, you’re wasting your time trying to get something because you’re diddling around in the world of experience and diddling around in the mind trying to turn a mean tiger into a nice tiger. The tiger has no independent existence; the tiger has no reality apart from my knowledge and belief in this projected tiger. There’s no good and evil, no right and wrong, no birth and death, no me or you, no us or them, no suffering, no freedom from suffering, no ignorance, no enlightenment, as I am. It’s the ultimate simplicity and the ultimate radical Realization too because there is no experience that you can have that is the truth of who you are, ZERO, NONE.  Self-realization is not an experience you cannot experience yourself because you’re alive, your one and one cannot experience itself. All experience is a projection of mind creating an experience of duality me and you, us and them, good and evil, right and wrong, ignorance and enlightenment, all a projection of mind. It’s the ultimate simplicity because it excludes all experience. All knowledge and experience is negated. The only truth is I am aware here and now, consciousness is, and I am that. What is aware right now? There is awareness here now, this is the only truth.      

Part II

  This message discerns between what is real and what is unreal, what is true and what is False. The truth is Awareness is here and now. I am here and now. No past, no future. No Family, no job, no money, no house, no car, no space, no time, no me, no you, no us, no them, no good, no bad, no Happy, no sad, no nothing. So the truth about who we are is there is awareness here now. If I ask you how you are the only true statement you can make about yourself is I am aware here now, anything else is not true.  I am aware here now is the truth. Don’t tell me about your suffering because that’s not the truth and don’t try to be free of your suffering because that’s not the truth. Don’t ask about enlightenment because that’s not the truth the only truth is I am aware here now, everything else is illusion. Everything that occurs in space to a specific identity is not true. Awareness is here now, I am that awareness. How can anything be wrong with being aware here now?  In order to have a problem I have to go into the illusion, I have to become Stephen. I have to have relationships, I have to pay the rent, I have to take care of my car, I have to do all this stuff and become a separate person in space and time to have problems. I have to identify myself with the illusion of space and time in order to have a problem. I cannot solve my problem by trying to fix my family. I can’t solve my problem by trying to fix my car I can’t solve my problem by trying to fix my body or by getting a job and making money. I can’t solve my problem by curing my cancer. I can’t solve my problem by fixing all my relationships, because Stephen is in the illusion of space, time, me, you, us, them, duality, separation, past, present and future. The truth is I am aware here now, so what’s wrong here now? Without any reference to the past, no references to the future, not even a reference to being here now in in my house. No space no time... so what’s your fucking problem? Right now what’s your fucking problem?    Right here right now nobody has a fucking problem!!  The mistake we make is assuming that we can be happy, have the peace of our true nature and have the peace of being by resolving our problems in space and time by resolving the problems of the individual, IT WONT FUCKING WORK!! Your life sucks and then you die as the individual. Life sucks and then you die. GET OVER IT!! You’re not going to fix yourself, your life sucks. This body sucks! It’s going to get sick and die! People are going to love you, and they are going to hate you, then maybe they will start to love you again, get over it!! The beauty of the teaching of knowing your true identity is that it explains very directly what is true about you and what is not true.  The teaching says that the so called path to freedom is the realization that I’m not Stephen. It’s the realization that Stephen sucks and then he dies. Don’t try to fix yourself it isn’t going to fuckin work it will never fuckin work, the individual sucks and then he dies. There is nothing for you to get. You don't have a chance. Because as soon as you say I am so and so, your fucked!! The Peace comes with the absence of so and so. I am aware right here right now. Pay no attention to the object of awareness like your mental state or your emotional state or your physical state its not going to work to try to change these states . To change anything in the world of the individual wont work because the individuals life sucks and then he dies.

Shit Stephen said Part 1

Everything your thinking or feeling, all your mind stories, everything your experiencing, anything that occurs in space and time, anything that has to do with an individual me, my job, my family, my house etc… is not true. The truth is right here right now, I am! Awareness is. There is awareness here now.Don’t say anything, don’t ask questions about the past or about the future. Here I am without any reference to space and time, without any reference to an individual identity. Drop all thoughts, drop all definitions and Drop all descriptions of who you are .Drop all descriptions of your mental state. Drop all descriptions of your emotional state. Drop all descriptions of your physical state, and Drop all ideas about being in a particular place. Forget about space, time and identity because none of it is true! The truth is awareness is here and now, I am aware here and now. You have no problems!     

One hand to hold

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."- A Course In Miracles.

When I feel threatened its because I'm believing I'm an illusion, I believe I'm something that is'nt real.
Only when I'm grounded in the Truth about myself do I experience the peace of God.
 
The Miracle is the choice to see the truth and not to buy into the false belief system again.
Radical Forgivness is knowing that you made up the threat to reinforce your illusion of guilt and sin. This type of forgiveness is the way to the miracle.
 
The you that is unreal can never experience the peace of god. Ego is the case of mistaken identity. Choose once again for what is real, do it over and over and over untill its time to come home to where you never left.

Its an inside job!

Understand the idea that there is nothing outside of your mind. Everything we think we see outside is a projection of what is inside. We can choose to change our inside thoughts and make a decision to transfer peace to every single circumstance in our lives. . It is only in our mind that peace can be found  

Death Row in a prison of illusions

If you place your happiness in what ever comes after I am, your fucked!
I am period! Forget about trying to fix up your prison, no matter how beautiful you make it, it will always be a prison. God wont come down and help you fix it up either, he isn't interested in your illusions.
You are the love of God. The world we created is an attempt to get rid of  guilt, shame, fear, and remorse. The world we see is a projection of whats inside us. Creating problems and then coming up with solutions to fix them will keep you busy for the rest of your life. Nothing outside of you can hurt you, because there is nothing outside of you. You are That!  The One mind in which all appears and disappears. Nothing happens before, during or after the Life of the body accept for what appears in mind.  You are already forgiven for thinking you did what you could never have done (separating from God) All resentments are just tools for the ego to reinforce this lie. Forgive yourself for using others to keep your self trapped in this self imposed Prison and be FREE. 

The Dream of Separation

It is impossible to have Self Knowledge without having a fundamental understanding of life and death.
What was born out of perfect peace and oneness was nothing more then an idea of separation, an idea that was taken to be true. This idea was so powerful that it created an illusion of a world of separate bodies. The purpose of these personal selves is to maintain there separate personal existence. They are always directed by desire and fear.  Death is only of the Body that wasn't real to begin with. The False idea of separation will continue even after the death of the body until the truth is again realized. Mind created This Illusion of separated existence. The only thing to do with this Dream is to wake up, remember that the separation never really happened, Know the love of being, and choose the real Self whose guide is wisdom and love.   

Who is your teacher, Ego or Holy spirit?

If we are not listening to Holy spirit then by default we are following the teachings of the Ego.
The Egos teachings say we are separate from everything and we have to fight to get peace and love.
Holy spirit says you are one with god, you are peace and love, shift your false belief about yourself and experience the truth of your being. The ego is a collection of concepts that tell us what we are. The truth of what we are is non conceptional. Love and peace are not to be found in the world, let the world go and go back to your natural state.  

only an illusion can be upset

.Our goal is to realize our oneness with god not to glorify our Ego.
Turn to the inner source of love and wisdom and ask for help remembering the truth of who you are.
Self knowledge is freedom from the bondage of the personal self.
Life is a classroom to facilitate a shift in identity.
If we  experience anything other then peace then we are identifying with the ego.
We don't need to manipulate external situations to be the peace that we already are.
Defending our phony self image and attacking others doesn't work.Come back home to your natural state and the sense of being a separate self will disappear. In this state the mind is quite and at peace, your eternal being cannot suffer. The only problem was we forgot who we are.

The love of being

  You are the love of being! The world comes from you!.
The Ego is a selfish, self centered son of a bitch. It projects an Image IE; wonderful Son, Great Father, cool Brother,  amazing employee, good friend, Etc....  and If others don't reflect this back to you and do what you want you get Fucking pissed!! Anger is never justified, it is always  Ego being threatened  fighting for its life. What the ego doesn't tell you is that those people cant give you what you are. You are the love of being. If you are demanding love from others it is because you don't believe that is what you are. It is because you see Evil, selfishness, hate, anger and Ignorance in yourself that you project it onto others. Everything is an expression of gods unconditional love (self knowledge) or its calling for it (self ignorance). If you are screaming for love than to see the truth about your self is the only answer.

a position of neutrality

Not long ago I was experiencing immense suffering. I was obsessing about my problems and why this was happening to me. I could have… I should have… if only this…  if only that… and what if. I couldn't sleep, I wasn't eating, My work was affected and my mind was dedicated to thinking about how bad my life sucked and how depressed I was. The whole time this was going on unbeknown to me there was this peace hidden... buried underneath all this oppressive thinking. Situations don't have to change to experience this peace it isn't dependent upon people places or things. It is ever present. What is so freeing is to know that attention can be placed on the stories that play in the head and I can take them to be real and get right in the shit and suffer like a bastard or This distance can be created, the stories play and I know they aren't about me. I am the peace that listens to the stories laughs and says  that was great! tell me another one! 

cant be fooled again

We are not a thought, or a feeling. We are pure, clear, presence. Nothing can be seen as it truly is because the human filter distorts everything, its the disease of perception! If we could  tap into our true nature we would see that no labels apply. We are the blank screen, The screen isn't bad or good  its just reflecting  whats being projected onto it. We continue to take ourselves to be these images and roles. We try to find peace by improving our self image and taking on better roles. What we are cannot be improved no matter how great our image nor can it be diminished by thinking what a big bag of crap we are.

space like awareness

 There will always be space no matter what forms are around. Space cannot be seen or experienced. It is whats experiencing.  Form cannot experience what you are. As a child we develop the sense of I, a separate individual, and at death this sense disappears. What we are is before the birth of the body and continues after the death of the body. The body is what gives rise to this sense of being a self, and our belief system becomes based on the fundamental illusion of being a separate self. Hearts beat, lungs breath, eyes blink, hair grows, brains think, Shitting happens, it all just happens, with no separate self doing anything.  

Without you nothing exists

Our true nature is covered up by the world we have created, you cant here the still small voice when the noise of the past is so loud. Both are present, the ego is the loudest and demands attention. We can recognize our true nature and become self aware. We are already that perfect, changeless, timeless presence that appears as a body with a mind that can recognize itself, or can also ignore its Oneness.  You can be aware of someone feeding you a shit sandwich and wanting to fucking kill them. You can be aware of someone giving you a monkey and wanting to hug them.  Situations, emotions, and thoughts all change but that pure awareness doesn't , no matter whats put before it.

no separate existence

Bodies moving around with thoughts popping in heads, just like whats happening  here! Clearly  this oneness is formless and timeless.  All mental suffering is due to identification with form.
I remembered my first teacher asking me "if I chop off your arms and legs are you still you? If you had a heart transplant and a lung transplant are you still you? and I had to search to locate myself. I even had to admit that I had no control over thoughts and the activity of mind.  Where was I? It has been called awareness, consciousness, beingness, and many other attempts to express the inexpressible.  Body and mind continue on business as usual, but its apparent that everything exists in this oneness that we all are.