Over the past 20 years now I have been on the so called "spiritual path" and while there is no doubt much good has come of it, up until recently I used it to perpetuate a certain kind of violence on my self. I could use meditation or any number of practices to beat the shit out of myself if I forgot to do it or I wasn't advanced enough. Attending Spiritual groups is great but I remember lots of guilt being projected onto me for not going to enough meetings or anything I wasn't doing right. Somehow we can take a positive thing and use it as a weapon to feel like shit and to project guilt and shame onto others. Someone a few days ago was speaking to me about feeling bad about their prayer life because they didn't feel Gods presence. So the very thing we needed to help us, becomes another bat we use to beat it into our heads they we aren't good enough. The most "advanced" people I know aren't doing everything perfect, they don't claim to be enlightened, What they are very good at is Forgiving themselves when they screw up and forgiving others when they screw up which is the choice for love over fear. I feel as a byproduct of this we become more peaceful and have a better life. When we are striving to become better and better and never satisfied with ourselves we are never satisfied with others and we live in a prison of self-improvement. Start from the fact that you are already a whole, complete, and a perfect child of god who will fall down But you are wholly loved and forgiven and your only function is to love and to forgive.So if your making any New Years resolutions and you fall short, love and forgive yourself anyway, be kind and get back on track. Know for a fact that mistakes will be made and your spiritual practice is to forgive and when you forget to forgive forgive yourself for that too.
Happy Holidays!!
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