"I am willing to witness
my fear" was very powerful exercise I was more focused than ever on how I chose
fear and what that looks like. When you’re not watching for it, it can sneak
up on you. The acronym for fear is "false events appearing real" so when fear
crops up I ask myself what’s the false story that I believe to be true? The
course is clear that "nothing real can be threatened" so when I'm
afraid I'm in an illusionary would of my own making. The evening exercise had me
look at the fact that My selfishness triggers my fear and all my fears are self -
centered I.e.: losing what I have, Not getting what I want, or fear of what
others think of me. My fear can only apply to you if it somehow affects me.
When I'm afraid I forget that there is this peace inside that is always there, But
it gets covered over with all the lies I start telling myself about the world I
have created. Fear can also be "fuck everything and run." I run
from the peace that is my natural state and I look for comfort in people places
and things that can never really give it to me. After doing the meditation I
reflected on how fearful I am about the judgments of others but was reminded
that no matter what your perception of me is or my perception of you is it will
never come close to the absolute perfection that is beyond what we could ever
conceive of. No one can really Judge you because they don’t even have a clue who
they are and all they are doing is projecting this ignorance onto others. The
truth is there is no others outside of what your mind has decided there are.
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